I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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