Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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