what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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