he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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