i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize