Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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