Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
