I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
