i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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