Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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