i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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