Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
