He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
