I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
