No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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