Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
