I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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