hell yes lets make some ravioli
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
