How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
