I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
