Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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