why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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