9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
