My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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