Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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