Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
