my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
