the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
