either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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