My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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