You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
