I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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