No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
