So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
