They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
