my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
