She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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