when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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