I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
