im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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