Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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