So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
