he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
