after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
