we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
