She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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