Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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