I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
