Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your penis caused this!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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