Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I came so hard my ears popped.
is it fun? or sober?
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