Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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