Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
