I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize