everyone is single if you try hard enough
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
