All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize