It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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