people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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