You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
