It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i think im in europe. pls send help
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
