How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
