why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
